I went to a convention this weekend and apparently came down with “Convention Crud”, with amounts to a runny nose, blasted sinuses and strange audible thing that makes everyone sound like a Smurf trapped in a fish bowl.

Though my laptop was secure in the trunk of my car, my spell-check/grammar-check apparently got it also.

As writing is not an option, here are some tasty links:
Anthrax War: The Malaysian Connection

if theres one thing i love its tourists

Update:

Also,

Keanu Reeves doesn’t age

Thanks, Stephen

World of Coke
Absolute blast!  This is a killer facility with plenty to do and a good price point for family.  Only complaint is that the staff can be very abrasive.

Who doesn’t love a giant bear?

Georgia Aquarium – Penguins

Georgia Aquarium – Pure Joy

What a day!

Costume figured out!

I am going to get drunk (or pretend to be) in the morning ticket line and spend the day making guttural groaning sounds and mumbling abstract nonsensical statements.

In short, I am going as Gary Busey.

DragonCon

Okay, for the record you just can’t stop outside of a major airline hub and use their port-o-potty without asking.

This morning after a client meeting, the coffee was ready to go.  I had not properly planned for this and proceeded to drive around the Atlanta International Airport until I found a construction portable loo.  It did not dawn on me that I was entering a restricted area, but I will say I need to learn to read those signs a bit better.  After wrapping up the situation, I exited the closet to find a cop waiting on me.  Long story short, I was corrected for the error I had made and escorted from the premises.

Not to self, pay closer attention.

Oh yeah, God called.  He said he is glad he is in your heart, but could you quit lying and being a hypocrite?  It is starting to bum him out.

Thanks Tony Pierce…

how to blog , 101

1. write every day.

2. if you think youre a good writer, write twice a day.

3. dont be afraid to do anything. infact if youre afraid of something, do it. then do it again. and again.

4. cuss like a sailor.

5. dont tell your mom, your work, your friends, the people you want to date, or the people you want to work for about your blog. if they find out and you’d rather they didnt read it, ask them nicely to grant you your privacy.

6. have comments. dont be upset if no one writes in your comments for a long time. eventually they’ll write in there. if people start acting mean in your comments, ask them to stop, they probably will.

7. have an email address clearly displayed on your blog. sometimes people want to tell you that you rock in private.

8. dont worry very much about the design of your blog. image is a fakeout.

9. use Blogger. it’s easy, it’s free; and because they are owned by Google, your blog will get spidered better, you will show up in more search results, and more people will end up at your blog. besides, all the other blogging software & alternatives pretty much suck.

10. use spellcheck unless youre completely totally keeping it real. but even then you might want to use it if you think you wrote something really good.

11. say exactly what you want to say no matter what it looks like on the screen. then say something else. then keep going. and when youre done, re-read it, and edit it and hit publish and forget about it.

12. link like crazy. link anyone who links you, link your favorites, link your friends. dont be a prude. linking is what seperates bloggers from apes. and especially link if you’re trying to prove a point and someone else said it first. it lends credibility even if youre full of shit.

13. if you havent written about sex, religion, and politics in a week youre probably playing it too safe, which means you probably fucked up on #5, in which case start a second blog and keep your big mouth shut about it this time.

14. remember: nobody cares which N*Sync member you are, what State you are, which Party of Five kid you are, or which Weezer song you are. the second you put one of those things on your blog you need to delete your blog and try out for the marching band. similarilly, nobody gives a shit what the weather is like in your town, nobody wants you to change their cursor into a butterfly, nobody wants to vote on whether your blog is hot or not, and nobody gives a rat ass what song youre listening to. write something Real for you, about you, every day.

15. dont be afraid if you think something has been said before. it has. and better. big whoop. say it anyway using your own words as honestly as you can. just let it out.

16. get Site Meter and make it available for everyone to see. if you’re embarrassed that not a lot of people are clicking over to your page, dont be embarrassed by the number, be embarrassed that you actually give a crap about hits to your gay blog. it really is just a blog. and hits really dont mean anything. you want Site Meter, though, to see who is linking you so you can thank them and so you can link them back. similarilly, use Technorati, but dont obsess. write.

17. people like pictures. use them. save them to your own server. or use Blogger’s free service. if you dont know how to do it, learn. also get a Buzznet account. several things will happen once you start blogging, one of them is you will learn new things. thats a good thing.

18. before you hit Save as Draft or Publish Post, select all and copy your masterpiece. you are using a computer and the internet, shit can happen. no need to lose a good post.

19. push the envelope in what youre writing about and how youre saying it. be more and more honest. get to the root of things. start at the root of things and get deeper. dig. think out loud. keep typing. keep going. eventually you’ll find a little treasure chest. every time you blog this can happen if you let it.

20. change your style. mimic people. write beautiful lies. dream in public. kiss and tell.

21. write open letters. make lists. call people out on their bullshit. lead by example. invent and reinvent yourself. start by writing about what happened to you today. for example today i told a hot girl how wonderfully hot she is.

22. when in doubt review something. theres not enough reviews on blogs. review a movie you just saw, a tv show, a cd, a kiss you just got, a restaurant, a hike you just took, anything.

23. constantly write about the town that you live in.

24. out yourself. tell your secrets. you can always delete them later.

25. dont use your real name. dont write about your work unless you dont care about getting fired.

26. dont be afraid to come across as an asswipe. own your asswipeness.

27. nobody likes poems. dont put your poems on your blog. not even if theyre incredible. especially if theyre incredible. odds are theyre not incredible. bad poems are funny sometimes though, so fine, put your dumb poems on there. whatever.

28. tell us about your friends.

29. dont apologize about not blogging. nobody cares. just start blogging again.

30. read tons of blogs and leave nice comments.

So let the games begin!

Not the one where I replace all the power outlets at local churches with “The Clapper”.  Though I love the idea of all the power and sound turning off as people forget they are praising God and instead are looking to put on a good front for the neighbor.  We are all ridiculous.  Even you, the one that is the vegetarian, but wears leather shoes.  Just like sweater vests and vinyl ties.

I am actually speaking about the recent CIA activity regarding Julian Assange.  The same guy that brought you Wikileaks and war diaries.  Sorry to crush your belief that wars involved rain that fell as candy and sun beams that became marzipan.

Therefore, walking outside, I realize that I am really nothing more than an animated stalk of celery. Nothing wrong with that really.  Celery is delicious.  At some point in time, we have realize that we are really just perishable items in the grocery store.

Sen. John McCain says, “Last American combat troops leave Iraq.  I think President George Bush deserves some credit for the victory”.

If that was “victorious”  then what is the definition of catastrophic failure?

The United States dragged the world into a war based on lies for the express purpose of securing oil and finishing an idiot’s fight.  The “Weapons of Mass Destruction” no where to be found.  This all done without a moment of planning or anticipation of what would be left behind when the bombs stopped falling.  Now, just like in Afghanistan in the 80′s, we will pack our bags and leave a perfect platform for a civil war and unrest.

The United States media outlets have done a wonderful job at setting up this story also.  Letting us know that the “combat troops” are all leaving.  This will leave 50,000 non-combat troops in place to secure and maintain embassies that are larger than most American cities and towns.  Yet, no one has explained what a “non-combat” soldier is.  By basic definition, a soldier is trained in the art of killing.  That is their primary purpose.

You have to read the fine print.

Saddam is gone though and so is his support of the terrorists that he did not know that bombed the towers and killed thousands of Americans.  America also made it’s point in the fact that you are either with us or you are a terrorist.  Simple as that.  So, without a true count of lost Iraqi citizens, we will call victory.  Of course, we never will know the amount of lost innocent as that is not in the best interest of our politicians.  We would ignore it anyway, it just isn’t juicy.

Let us not forget the historical value of documents, artifacts and stories past down from generations that define the history of this region.  Of course, why bother?  Every Iraq looks, acts, talks and kills just like Saddam. None of these individuals have family, a wish for peace or a longing to practice any religion they wish and do so without a car bomb disrupting prayer.  Let us also not forget the troops that sat without order or direction.  Let us also not forget the looting that occurred and revenge killings that took place.

Feel free to read about these things on Wikileaks.  You should make haste, however.  The U.S. government cannot let the documents go unanswered forever.

All that matters is that “US combat troops have officially left Iraq”. Never mind that the troops that haven’t left Iraq continue to undertake the exact same missions that they have been, despite the fact that the Pentagon has claimed ‘combat operations’ at an end. There’s no difference between ‘combat operations’ and ‘counter terrorism operations’ in an asymmetric situation. It’s still combat, no matter how you phrase it in the media.

Since the day that it was invaded, 4,415 Americans have left Iraq in caskets, 4,276 of them after President Bush stood in front of that now infamous “Mission Accomplished” banner. We should also not forget the wounded that managed to actually make it home.

Sure, we can give him all the credit he wants for that.  Shouldn’t be a problem.

]]> http://www.hyperionavenue.com/?feed=rss2&p=261 0 http://www.hyperionavenue.com/?p=251 http://www.hyperionavenue.com/?p=251#comments Wed, 18 Aug 2010 23:20:24 +0000 admin http://www.hyperionavenue.com/?p=251

Too often lately we are spending more countless, and may I mention useless hours in the argument about the community center in New York.  I really don’t see what the deal is.  We bought it.  It was drawn from your last payroll check.  See, what we fail to remember is that we just gave another $60 Billion USD to Afghanistan.

Yes, the same Afghanistan that produces more resistance against our “Freedom Fighters”.  Coincidentally, it is the same country that we provided clandestine support and training in the 80′s.  Not many people know that and most that do, dispute it.  Check the books…

The government you elected is the same that supports what you hate.

New York, the city that is tunnel vision and truly believes they are All-American, this is your reality check.  You are all sponsored by China.  Got it?

$1 Trillion dollars is the current amount of the national debt that is owed directly to China.  If they were to call in the debt, it would be enough to collapse the worldwide economy in one shot.  So, suck it up and enjoy the food.  You are paying for it.

Like most citizens in this current depressed state, we would default anyway.

That is the issue with only focusing on what is owed to you and not what you are indebted to others.

In this moment, nothing is okay.  You know you gotta live like nothings gonna hurt, but happiness seems so far, far away.

Everyone has invaluable advice for a situation that no one can fully grasp.  All I can say is July.

Virginia,
They came and told me about the endless possibilities and how death is possible, but unlikely.  My life is full of the unlikely.  It felt like I was pushing against the waves and I kissed you goodbye with not a moment to consider the life in you that was soon to depart.  I never got to give the child a hug and let it know that we have not completely screwed this world up.

I watched as they wheeled you down the hallway in a gurney, I walked beside you hand in hand, shuffling my feet against the cold floor.  Heart racing, I grabbed your face and kissed it like it would be the last.  They told me it was time.  You had to go.  As I turned on my heels and stepped into the elevator, I hit the floor.  Where else do you go when you just lost everything you came here with?

To figure how to swim for 40 days and 40 nights would have been an easier task than to face the inevitable.

So, I look around at every reminder of a life I never got to share.  A hand I will never hold and a child for which stories I will never tell.  A part of me died that day under the cold nonchalant methodology of swarming hospital workers.  A child that had a name of July Kelley and carried dreams for which it will never live.

I have thoughts of grandeur that could never live in a place of lesser man.  Its not their currency that spends.

It is this world’s loss and not mine alone.  With the beauty and heart of its mother and the fight of his father, the world would have been changed.  A child that would have never lived life at minimum safe distance.

July,
I handmade a table, I rounded the edges to protect you.  I sanded it down to prevent a splinter from ever piercing your hands.  The rope to soften the edges still sits nearby.  Your bassinet plans sit at the ready and I so wish you were here to lay in it at night.  I would have looked in on you at all hours just to see you breathe.

We laughed and cried when the news came that you were on your way.  We stood in our office and fathomed at how we were going to tell everyone about you.  We took six tests  just to make sure.  You brought so much joy to our lives and never even knew it.

I spent nights talking to you.  I know you had no ears yet to hear me, but I knew your spirit heard everything I had to say.  I told you to take it easy on your mom.  I told you how I loved you and how excited I was to see you in this world.  I could not stand the days we had to wait.  We looked at pictures of what you would look like at that moment.  You were little larger than a Poppyseed.

You would soon meet Nana, Pop, Grandma G and Jazzy (your Georgia grandpa).  You would have met a man that looked identical to Santa and we would have let you believe it.  You would have met Mrs. Claus too.  So many were here to love you.

You were a miracle for your parents, if only for a moment.  A child that was never supposed to happen.  We were so proud.

I know you are over us, hovering, whispering.  I know you are in a better place while I sit here and my heart breaks.

Your mom and I will go on, pushing through day to day, looking forward to a day when we will see your smiling face.

Know we loved you and know we are so proud of you.

Dear angelic child, we will see you soon.